Home » Relationship: Causes of Failure, Ways to Maintain Healthy Relationship

Relationship: Causes of Failure, Ways to Maintain Healthy Relationship

by Maryam Olaniyi
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A relationship refers to the connection between two or more people or how they interact with each other.

Why do relationships fail?

This question often arises after a breakup. While each situation is unique, there are various reasons why relationships do not last.

Reasons why relationships may come to an end:

1. Loss of Trust

Trust is an essential foundation in a good relationship. If you lack emotional support or find your partner unreliable, it can lead to a loss of trust.

2. Lying

Discovering that your partner has lied to you can have serious consequences. Whether it is a trivial white lie or a significant lie meant to protect themselves, lies can greatly affect a relationship.

3. Possessiveness

Being with an overly possessive partner can raise concerns about the healthiness of the relationship. Does your partner isolate you from your friends or constantly check up on you?

4. Jealousy

In moderate amounts, jealousy can be healthy, showing that both partners value each other. However, excessive possessiveness and signs of pathological jealousy are red flags.

5. Infidelity

Discovering that your partner is unfaithful can lead to a breakdown in trust and the foundation of the relationship. Questions may arise about their true identity.

Relationships built on mistrust, lies, jealousy, and infidelity are unlikely to endure.

6. Poor Communication

Lack of effective communication is a common reason why relationships fail. When conversations only revolve around the children’s schedule or chores, communication becomes transactional. Healthy communication should cover various topics.

Ironically, couples who claim they never argue may not have a positive thing. It could mean both individuals avoid conflict, unwilling to address difficult issues.

Couples should express their frustrations and find ways to communicate through them instead of avoiding arguments.

7. Financial Distress

Studies show that increased financial distress can lead to a higher demand for withdrawal in a relationship. This pattern is correlated with lower marital satisfaction. However, expressing gratitude and appreciation can help overcome communication problems caused by financial stress.

8. Lack of Respect

Issues with respect are another common reason for relationship failure. Financial differences are often a source of disagreement among couples. It is less about opposing views on money management and more about how they handle discussions about money.

9. Difference in Priorities

Divergent priorities often lead to relationship breakdowns. If you and your partner have drastically different desires or life goals, it can create strain in the relationship.

10. Different Relationship Goals

Sometimes, partners have varying priorities for the relationship itself. For example, one partner may want a casual, no-strings-attached relationship, while the other wishes to introduce their loved one to family and embark on a more serious path.

Mismatched long-term goals can also be upsetting if not addressed beforehand. One partner may prioritize career advancement in the city, while the other desires to settle down in the suburbs and start a family soon.

11. Insufficient Sex and Intimacy

Problems related to sex and intimacy can contribute to relationship failure. Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical,” is released when we engage in physical acts of affection. Increased oxytocin levels are associated with reduced stress and increased happiness.

Sex plays a crucial role in relationships, with studies showing that the average adult engages in sexual activity once a week. Regular sex offers emotional, psychological, and physical benefits.

Tips for a healthy relationship:

1. Acceptance

Healthy relationships involve accepting people as they are and not trying to change them. No one can fulfill every desire or expectation.

2. Communication

Effective communication is crucial for healthy relationships. Take the time to listen without interrupting or planning a response. Seek to understand the other person’s perspective.

Ask questions and show genuine interest in their experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests. Finding a balance between sharing personal information and overwhelming the other person with excessive details is essential.

Be open to change and growth while fulfilling responsibilities and being dependable. Address conflicts in a fair and respectful manner, taking the time to cool down before discussing sensitive topics.

Use “I statements” to express feelings and desires without assigning blame or assuming motives. Focus on describing specific behaviors rather than criticizing or judging the person.

Address one issue at a time and avoid using absolutes like “always” and “never.” Apologize when you make mistakes and understand that not all problems can be easily resolved. Recognize the differences between individuals and communicate what you can accept in a relationship.

3. Affirmation

Happy couples have a positive interaction-to-negative interaction ratio of 5:1, according to relationship researcher John Gottman. Express warmth and affection to strengthen the relationship.

4. Balance

Maintain a balanced life, realizing that other people cannot fulfill all your needs. Pursue individual interests and activities, allowing room for outside involvement. Meeting new people takes time, but healthy relationships can be learned and improved.

5. Authenticity

Being yourself is more enjoyable and easier than pretending to be someone else. Healthy relationships are based on genuine connections.

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