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16 Essential elements for successful marriage

Marriage is not a scam, just understand its rudiments

by Akeem Adeyemi
Marriage is not a scam


In recent times, the question of whether marriage is a scam has sparked controversies, with some individuals, including prominent feminists, asserting that it is. They point to the unfortunate experiences of certain couples to support their argument.

Mostly, A lot of high-profile weddings have crashed a few months after the well-celebrated and well-attended wedding.

Does this mean marriage is a scam? No, marriage is not a scam?

However, it’s essential to clarify that marriage, in itself, is not a scam. Here are reasons to dispel the notion:

1. Preparation and Learning: Marriage requires preparation, and being adequately equipped with parenting and spousal skills is vital. Seeking knowledge through study, books, counselling, and continuous learning can make a significant difference.

2. Motives Matter: Marriage is not a scam when entered into for genuine reasons. Assessing and understanding the motives behind marriage is crucial for its success.

3. Consideration and Selflessness: Selfishness in marriage can strain the relationship. Embracing love calls for being considerate of the other person’s needs and feelings.

4. Humility in Relationships: Holding onto pride can hinder a marriage. Embracing humility allows for acknowledging mistakes and apologizing when necessary.

5. Healing from Past Pain: Childhood trauma can affect marriages if not addressed. Healing from past pain is crucial for a healthier marital relationship.

6. Commitment Over Quitting: Quitting easily in dating relationships may lead to challenges in marriage. Effort and commitment are essential for overcoming difficulties.

7. Selective Listening: Choosing the right advice and avoiding negative influences is vital. Listening to bitter friends or misleading social media content can distort one’s perception of marriage.

8. Investment in Marriage: Putting effort into affairs outside the marriage can make marriage seem dull. Redirecting energy and investment back into the marriage is key.

9. Breaking Parental Patterns: Overcoming negative examples from parents’ marriages is possible. The quality of a family is determined by the couple, not their parents.

10. Positive Outlook on Gender: Marriage is not a scam; rather, some individuals approach it with negative views of the opposite gender. Working on fostering a positive perspective can significantly impact marital satisfaction.

11. Joint Vision and Values: Some couples lack a shared vision and values, leading to challenges. Strengthening the foundation of marriage by aligning goals can contribute to a more harmonious relationship.

12. Action Over Inaction: Knowing what to do is one thing; putting it into action is another. Overcoming anger, laziness, and self-centeredness is crucial for a thriving marriage.

13. Rejecting Negative News: Negative news about marriages often spreads faster than positive stories. It’s important not to succumb to the belief that every couple is miserable.

14. Support over Gossip: Instead of gossiping about couples facing challenges, offering support and prayers can contribute to their growth and resilience.

15. Consistent Effort: Inconsistency in effort can lead to mixed signals. Maturity calls for a consistent commitment to making the marriage work.

16. Persistence Pays Off: Instant gratification expectations can lead to premature abandonment of marriages. Patience and persistence are crucial for a successful and fulfilling marital journey.

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